Our Zen Family

This is our endeavor to document our adventures of parenting.

It is our aspiration to take on parenthood with an holistic approach, an open-mind and open-heart. Everyone’s experience is unique and while ours may seem unconventional, ultimately we all do our best. It is important to have fun- smile lots, laugh loud and love unconditionally.

We are particularly interested in raising our child “organically” which sounds a bit cliche, but it is genuine. While I was pregnant I read a book about elimination communication, which essentially entails potty training at any age. Most people in North America wait until on average 2 years of age. We have decided to start at 5 weeks! Read more on the various blog posts!

Namaste

Time sure does go by quickly. Taio is nearly 5 and a half months already! And doing amazing…he has figured out how to put his feet in his mouth, getting into contortionist-like positions to achieve so (I’m jealous!). He is sitting up really well and for long periods of time on his own. He can get up on his hands and knees and almost into downward dog even, mostly in an attempt to go forward. He has discovered that he can make his way around the room if he pushes off with his arms. Even so he moves backwards, I think it’s clever & resourceful!

He is also really developing his own little personality. He is extremely persistent and can be stubborn at times (especially when it comes to napping!) but mostly a chill, happy-go-lucky dude

The elimination communication is an ongoing process. It’s a slow continuous progression. Taio poops almost exclusively on the potty- with the odd exception, as can be expected with a baby. His schedule has been less than predictable lately, going 2-3 days apart so I’m constantly on the look out for signs and offering the potty when I think it might be time. Though in all honesty he mostly goes when I least expect it! Pees are still a bit precarious. He generally goes when we put him on the potty but he also doesn’t hesitate to go in his cloth diapers now. He used to fuss a lot more with a wet nappy so we knew when he had gone. He has started making a very distinct sound while peeing his diaper so he gets changed immediately anyway. With him moving around a lot more independently and being much more interested in toys I reckon he just gets distracted and/or doesn’t want to interrupt his playtime to go on the potty. We have started to sign a little with Taio so hopefully in the future, when he is still pre-verbal, he will be able to communicate that he needs to eliminate. I wish I had something more exciting to report. After practicing EC for the last 4 months I have learned that it is a lot like breast feeding. You need to be consistent and persevere and eventually you all figure out what the heck is going on!

All in all, we’ve become more relaxed about ECing. When we first started we spent what felt like half the day on the potty. We’re still very diligent with first thing in the morning, after naps, 10-15min after feedings, before and after baths and before bed. We also put him on when it seems like he might have to go and/or he is vocalizing. I know that still seems like a lot, but he’s on and off fairly quickly and back to playing!

On a different topic, Taio will soon begin his adventure with solid foods. We wanted to exclusively breast feed for the first 6 months. And for the most part we have adhered to this. We have fed him an egg yolk a few times in which he seemed less than enthralled. However he is starting to show signs of interest for food and in the coming weeks we will begin trying veggies, fruits, meats, etc. I have been reading a book called Superfoods for Babies and Toddlers which has some amazing content and recipes. It is so crucial to create healthy eating habits early in life. Therefore, I have decided to expand my blog to include recipes as well. Stay tuned for some delicious and nutritious treats & meals!

As many of you are aware, we are practicing what is called Elimination Communication (EC) or Natural Infant Hygiene. It is not really potty training per se; but a similar concept in which the child learns to eliminate in a receptacle rather than a diaper. Hence, why EC is sometimes referred to as going diaperless. The idea is, instead of letting the child get used to going in their shorts, you show them the eco-friendly, diaper-rash preventing, more natural alternative. It is more hygienic and helps strengthen the babies urinary (and core) muscles from early on. Waiting until two years of ages renders a more difficult process as the child has never used many of these muscles and is used to simply ‘going’ wherever, whenever.
While I was pregnant, I read a book by Ingrid Bauer (the North American EC guru) about raising a diaper free child. http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/ingrid_bauer.html I found the book to be extremely interesting and it really resonated with how I would like to raise my child (she also discusses breastfeeding, co-sleeping & attachment parenting). Many people guffawed at the idea and said it wouldn’t work and/or last. At the very least, I thought I would give it a go.

It is by no means a new concept. So many cultures in the world practice this method: Africa, Asia, South America, even much of Europe. Different cultures begin EC at various times- some from birth; others at 2-3 months (when poops are more regular and predictable) or  5-6 months (when child can sit up on their own/have better neck control). As an FYI, Ingrid Bauer started from Day One. She’s my hero! I had read that infant’s poops can be messy and frequent the first month. In fact, Taio eliminated 10-12 times daily for the first 5 weeks. I had decided before Taio was born that I would wait until about 6 weeks when he was more regular and I became more familiar with his elimination signals and cues. Plus I figured I needed time to adapt to breastfeeding.

This ended up being the perfect amount of time in this situation (remember, every child is different). From birth, Taio hated having dirty nappies and would scream bloody murder (he’s not as bad now). So I should not have been so surprised that he learned EC so fast. I didn’t think it would be this easy, but Taio has caught on so quickly. Honestly, I think he understood the process from the get-go.

Elimination communication (EC) has undoubtedly been a grand success from the start! Two Sundays ago (Nov.21^st) we woke up to Taio’s usual morning grunting and squirming. I said “He’s about to go poo!” Clint suggested that I go get the potty which I did while he undressed the little man. I held Taio over the potty while I said the cueing words “poo-poo and pee-pee” and made the noises “pssss…” Within seconds he had successfully peed and pooped in the potty. We both thought “that was easy!” So was it beginners luck? NO WAY! That day alone Taio took another poop and 10 pees in the potty. And the trend continues. He goes pee nearly every time it’s offered. It is very common now for him to wake from a nap with a dry diaper and go in the potty instead. And he’s only gone poop in his diaper once since starting EC; which I caught in time enough for him to finish on the potty. What a superstar! What’s even more amazing is last week we were traveling the 5 days (to Calgary and then spent a lovely weekend in Banff) and we were still able to maintain EC. In fact, Taio went pee and poop over the toilet at two separate friends houses!

Basically how it works is that I offer him the potty at various times of the day (first thing in the morning, after naps & feedings). He may or may not go (though I would say 90% he does at least go pee a little). I also use intuition as well as reading his body language. I hold him over the potty in a supportive position until he can do it for himself in the future. He may or may not go and it is simply an offer to assist him in going on the potty rather than his diaper. We always praise his successful eliminations and if he doesn’t want to go we let him know it is always just an offer.

What I’ve learned from this so far is that we grossly underestimate the amazing abilities of babies.  This process has allowed us to really tune in to our child and communicate effectively through body language, eye contact and sounds. What we love most is his incessant chattiness while on the potty. What an amazing process.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmM4Togmrfw

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Yesterday marked Day One for our elimination communication (EC). In reality, it is not really the first day, as we’ve spent the last 5 weeks observing and learning Taio’s elimination patterns. In the last week or two Taio has been a lot more consistent with his timing and patterns. I started to note that upon rousing in the morning he would have a poop and pee. Clint and I had discussed starting the natural infant hygiene process as it has been obvious that the little guy despises being wet and/or dirty. We have attempted to initiate the use of cloth three times, all rendering diaper rash. We’ve had to revert back to ‘eco-friendly’ diapers (is that possible? at the very least eco-friendlier!). I felt pretty confident that Taio would take to EC if it meant he would spend less time in wet nappies!

We woke up yesterday and Taio was making his usual grunting indicating a poop was on its way. Clint suggested getting the potty. I ran to get the potty, removed Taio’s bottom layer and held him in position over the receptacle. I gently asked if he needed to use the potty and made the cueing sounds ‘poo-poo’ and ‘pssss’ To our amazement, within seconds Taio was pooping, followed by a stream of pee!! Well that was easy. Was it beginners luck? We praised him over and over again, you’ve never seen such proud parents! And Taio really seemed to comprehend what had transpired.

So was it beginners luck? Feeling optimistic we tried EC for the remainder of the day. And it worked- Taio pooped one other time and peed 10 times over the course of the day. The most incredible thing- after a nap I held Taio over the potty and he went pee. I put a diaper on him and we all went out to run errands. We were gone about 2 hours or so. When we got home I undressed Taio and discovered his diaper was unsoiled. I held him over the potty and he went pee again!

I could tell by the end of the day, the little guy was knackered. That was a lot of work and stimulation for him. I decided not to push him too much. I was not going to offer the potty in the middle of the night but after a feeding I went to change him and noticed his diaper was clean again. So I held him over again and lo and behold he went pee. And again when he woke up this morning. And a big poop mid-morning. I missed the first one this morning- he had already started in his diaper and got very disgruntled when I attempted to interrupt. There will be misses and I reckon it is not 100% fool proof but so far Taio’s done an awesome job and we are so proud of him

It is a well known fact that babies love to be touched and gain a lot of comfort and security through contact with parents and family. In many cultures, massage is an integral part of the process, beginning daily from birth. I’m most familiar with Ayurveda which has its origins in India but it is quickly gaining popularity here in the ‘West’.

Baby massage has so many wonderful benefits, from bonding (gives dad a chance to get involved too), relaxation, relief (especially for gassy and/or colicky babes), interaction and stimulation. Some purport that regular baby massage enhances neurological and physiological development.

We have incorporated baby massage into Taio’s daily routine;  sometimes he gets two massages…if the little guy gets a shower and a bath!

I have noticed he has less gas and thus is less fussy (not that he’s overly fussy- he is a Zen baby after all!). Also I’ve noticed if he gets upset or is crying, a simple foot massage seems to calm him down. All in all, Clint and I thoroughly enjoy giving the massage and  its obvious Taio enjoys the experience- but you can decide for yourself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39RR6f5T6VA

Taio Om was born Monday, October 11th at 9:42pm, 12 days past his due date.

Clinton had joked for quite some time about having a 10-10-10 baby but I never really thought I would go that much over… despite the midwives telling me over and over and over again that it was common for first time moms to go an average of ten days past the estimated due date.

Over the course of the twelve days prior to Taio being born, I tried numerous induction suggestions- spicy foods, red raspberry leaf tea, EZ birth homeopathic, massage, acupuncture and more.

On day nine I took the lemon verbena but all it induced was extreme vomiting.

By day ten, I let it all go and decided the baby would come when ready. I had said it before then but wasn’t really being impeccable with my words and really just wanted the baby to come. So instead of just waiting, waiting, waiting Clint and I went for walks, got in two Thanksgiving dinners with friends and focused less on when baby would come.

The night of 10-10-10 after arriving ‘home’ from the second Thanksgiving dinner, we were just talking and relaxing when I felt my water break shortly past midnight.  I had been having some mild cramping earlier, but soon after the water released,  the contractions got closer together.  I called the on-call midwife around 2:30am explaining the situation.  We agreed to wait another hour to see how things progressed. An hour later the contractions were getting stronger, so we agreed to meet so that I could be checked. Unfortunately I was only 3cm dilated and was sent home to rest, as Taina felt the baby would arrive sometime that day or night, and I would need my energy.

It was not possible for me to sleep, so I just closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. Showers helped as well.  I could tell my body was gearing up for labour, but wasn’t quite there yet.

We met with Taina & Mimi midday and I was checked again. I was still only about 4cm dilated. A membrane sweep was done, and it was discovered that the forebag was resting between my cervix & baby’s head. I agreed to having the forebag ruptured. Fluid went gushing everywhere. And then the real contractions began. In hindsight, what I had experienced to that point was nothing compared to what I was about to endure for the next 8 hours. After leaving the clinic the contractions got stronger, longer, closer together and ultimately more intense over the course of the afternoon and early evening. Again I did my best to focus on my breathing and visualized what my labour would be like.

I had Clint apply counter pressure to my back which helped immensely. At around 6pm I called Taina and said I felt I was ready. On the way to the Birth Centre was when i felt my first slight urge to push. We met at the Centre around 7pm and I quickly hopped into the tub. The water was very soothing and even eased the force of the contractions, especially in my lower back. I was checked and found to be 6cm dilated. Finally we were getting somewhere! Within the hour I was at 9cm dilation and feeling strong urges to push. At this point i let my body take over. With every contraction i could feel the baby moving down. I pushed hard when instructed, small pushes at other times. I put my trust in the midwives and my body and in just 42minutes little Taio was brought into this world. Ok maybe not he wasn’t so little- he shocked us all at 9lbs2oz. But he’s still my little man and cute as can be.

Overall, it was a wonderful birthing experience. Taina, Christy & Mimi were fantastic and I feel so happy to have had the option to have midwives and natural, peaceful birth. Being a mom is the greatest feeling in the world. Taio has already brought us so much joy and love. He is such an awesome baby – we both feel incredibly blessed to have him in our lives.